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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143555">I hold my breath and I wait for you to breathe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackandwhiteandrose/pseuds/blackandwhiteandrose'>blackandwhiteandrose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everything Turns Out Fine, M/M, Married Life, Mild Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Older And Wiser, Personal Growth, They're figuring it out, all the feels, moments of calm, soft, sometimes there's a fight, this might be a form of fluff, we'll call it fluff-adjacent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:02:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26143555</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackandwhiteandrose/pseuds/blackandwhiteandrose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Patrick glances down at David, as he slips his fingers through David’s dark hair, slowly and gently, a continuous loop of comfort. Over and over, for as long as he needs it."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I hold my breath and I wait for you to breathe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanime17/gifts">lanime17</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s nearly dark in the room, just the flickering lights of the cedar + rose candles on the end tables. And so, so quiet, only the sound of shallow breaths, so synchronized they were practically breathing as one.</p><p>Patrick glances down at David, as he slips his fingers through David’s dark hair, slowly and gently, a continuous loop of comfort. Over and over, for as long as he needs it. He can still see the faint tear tracks on David’s cheeks from where they trickled out under those long lashes. He feels pain as real as pinpricks to his heart knowing he was the reason David had been crying.</p><p>He can’t even remember what started the fight. He’s always been thankful they weren’t the kind of couple who argued a lot and said things they didn’t mean that hung in the air like dark clouds they couldn’t cast away. But after as long as they had been together, they knew the buttons to push, exactly where to poke and jab at each other for maximum impact. </p><p>There had been shouting. Stomping that led to a slammed door. Some roughly handled dishes that had landed precariously, but unscathed. Sentences that went for the jugular and bled out over the kitchen floor. He was ashamed of all of it.</p><p>Patrick knew better than to just leave it alone and give both he and David time to spiral into a frenzy of anxiety. He takes only the time he absolutely must have, to assure himself he is more reasonable and sufficiently contrite. </p><p>When he finds David, literally shaking with anger and hurt, he knows this is one of those days he’ll look back on when he thinks about the things he regrets in his life. He will fix it. They will fix it, work it out, the two of them. They’ve grown into this relationship, strong and comfortable, because they have figured out that not talking to each other about everything is not an option. </p><p>When he apologizes, and David takes his hand and propels him toward the couch, he goes willingly, easily. He lets David push him to sit down and doesn’t move as David arranges himself, draping his body over the cushions and laying his head in Patrick’s lap. The silence stretches out between them, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as it does when they’re not near each other.</p><p>He wanted to touch David, but he didn’t, not until he knew he would welcome the touch instead of just tolerate it. He knows the fine lines to walk with David, even when they get blurry in the post-disagreement atmosphere. </p><p><em> “You fucking hurt me.” </em> </p><p>Patrick cringed. He knew he had done just that, but hearing David actually say the words somehow made it worse. He weighed his reply thoughtfully and spoke carefully. And then he waited. </p><p>Finally, David reached for him, sliding his fingers between Patrick’s, “<em>I’m sorry, too. </em>”</p><p>Patrick settles in, takes a deep breath. Brings his other hand to tangle in David’s hair, skimming through his perfectly styled strands. He watches the candle flames dance and holds his breath to match the rhythm of David’s. In. Out. Together. </p><p>He hates everything that happened in the last couple hours, but this moment feels so peaceful he’s glad they could end up here. The calm after the storm. </p><p>He’s startled when David abruptly gets up, standing over him. </p><p>“<em>Lay down </em>.” </p><p>Patrick switches his position immediately, reclining back onto the couch, but he can tell it’s not what David wants. He makes himself pliable when David nudges him further up the couch and over a little bit. </p><p>Once he’s satisfied Patrick is arranged just right, David cautiously lowers himself into his desired placement. He rests his head against Patrick’s chest, tucked into his side, one leg precisely slotted between Patrick’s, the other slung over his hip. He wriggles as close as he can, until he’s completely comfortable and pulls Patrick’s arms around him. He knows this is where he belongs, wrapped up in Patrick, with the strong, steady sound of Patrick’s heartbeat echoing in his ear.  </p><p>Despite the words that crashed hard against those still-tender parts of him, and the sting from them that is slowly starting to fade, there is no safer place for him than right here. David has learned again and again in his life that actions will always show what words can’t and won’t and Patrick shows him love in a thousand different ways, every day. He’s confident enough now to know that one bad moment is not enough to collapse something that was built to last, cemented together by a love that he hopes will never stop surprising him.</p><p>Patrick relaxes under David’s weight, sighing with relief from the full-body contact. The rush of oxytocin tamps down the last remnants of adrenaline, and lets him fully appreciate everything about what…. who… he’s holding onto. Even at their worst, they are somehow better than he’d ever been at his best with anyone else. His lips twitch with a little smile, and he bows his head to drop a kiss near David’s temple.</p><p>David takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, “<em>I forgive you. </em>”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TrueIllusion: TYSM...YATB! IRAYAYB! (there's the rest of the alphabet I didn't use earlier. lol)</p><p>——-———————</p><p>title from “entertaining angels” - TN</p><p>—————————</p><p>I hope everyone who is struggling a bit right now can find some sort of moment of calm, with your favorite (human or pet) snuggle buddy or whatever it is that makes you feel at peace.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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